The Donation...

"You are your parents' donation to human evolution."                                            

                                                      --Robert Ornstein                                                                                                        

Lawrence and I would agree: when we pass on, we will have made a considerable (divine) donation to human evolution: Justin and Taylor

Our children's legacies will live on beyond our own and, for that, we are immensely grateful.  Justin and Taylor surely have their foibles, imperfections, glories, and gaffs--they are full of human nature.  They are not mannequin-templates of us as their parents and we would not have wanted it otherwise. 

Undoubtedly, they both have some of our mannerisms but they are truly unique, authentic unto themselves, and very available to be of service to their fellow (and fellowess) travelers.  I marvel at their ability to embody and embrace and trade-off their gender roles.  They live in congruence with their emotions:  they laugh when they are happy and they cry when they are sad.  

They freely scatter the moonbeam and stardust qualities of their personalities.  I don't believe either of them have ever felt compelled to present a persona of who they are not...they are comfortable in their own skin.  They have mastered the wisdom of not repenting for the sins they did not commit.  With reckless abandon they trust their free-spirited natures.  They carry their weight in not being afraid to be  busy-bee hard workers or risk-taking entrepreneurs.  They wound themselves and others; they are not afraid to say: I am sorry.  They help elders cross busy intersections.  They are loyal friends and confidantes. They risk being the fool in the face of staying with their own values and personal integrity.  They make devastating mistakes and learn from them...they make more mistakes and learn from them again.  They hug men and women alike.  They have both lost their beloved pets and have each built the sweetest shrines; boxes filled with the sacred ashes of both Marco and Friday--

They know the pain of coming from a broken home.  They know the travails of joint custody (when they were younger); they schlepped their things back and forth between their parent's separate houses for years on end. They hated it.  They love throwing dinner-parties and a mean left-hand punch if anyone threatens those they love.  They can be counted on to watch each other's backs.  They are the best of friends to each other. They know how to fight and make up. They vehemently disagree with each other and also know how to agree to disagree. They share. They say 'no thank-you' when asked to do something that would have them cross their own boundaries.  They don't apologize for what they believe in.  They both voted for Obama.  Neither claims a religious affiliation; both have extraordinary spiritual paths.   They play hard and don't take skips in line.  They would give  up their place in line to benefit someone less fortunate than themselves.

They know their parents are not perfect.  They know, first hand, the necessary losses of believing otherwise.  If need be, I have no doubts that they would 'take turns' changing our diapers, wipe the dribble running down our chins, take us on outings, help us remember all that we may have forgotten, tie themselves to a mast in a dangerous sea-crossing before allowing either of us to languish in nursing homes, span any bridge to help us get to the other side and respect and protect our last wishes....Neither of them have had children of their own--yet.  When they do, the donation they will make will be obviously considerable---they have already made a large downpayment on further benefiting the next generation by loving so unashamedly, so unconditionally, the humbled donors who gave them life.  The donation their parents made, without ever being able to imagine that the donation their own children would give back to them could never be repaid.

Gracie Garp

(Tanina)